They Just Won't Listen

They think they know it all.
Those heads with puckered mouths, cute duck lips, big painted eyes.
Selfies in the bathrooms show you what they know.

Do they know the statistics of how many sexual assaults happen to women in this country?

AND THEY JUST WON'T LISTEN!

They think they know it all.

"Where will you be?  Who is driving?"

"Mom, you are smothering me!  None of the other moms are asking and you are TOOOOO protective!  I am 17 and can take care of myself!"

"I want to talk to the adult in charge," is my usual comment to each request for each event.  Each event comes from the open universe, no one is "IN Charge" and Everyone is "Invited".  We live in a stranger lead world.  It is frightening, and my children do not have any qualms about this.  They are concerned about...ME.

I only know about myself, sexually abused by a family member at age 4, which my Mother took seriously, and then made sure everyone in the family knew.  We were a tight knit German clan, and not too trusting of the police, coming from war ravaged Germany.

I knew of many cases of date rape during high school and college, many students were too embarrassed to report.  I knew of the times students dropped out of school with pregnancies because they were not allowed to continue(in my day you were not allowed to be pregnant at school).

  I recall it being a first when a teacher was pregnant at school, her husband also teaching at our school.  The school was considered quite forward thinking to allow this!  Using the word "Pregnant" was not allowed on television...let alone in school.

You can be in danger anywhere.  It is like guerrilla warfare, and a person is in danger when their guard is down.  The parental unit takes extra safety precautions because they are aware of the fact, that it is just when our own guard is down, that these extra safety cautions come into play, and not when everything is just fine.

The adult in charge is there when something goes wrong, not when all goes as planned.  Of course, we also know that they keep the festivities on track, as there are always some party goers trying to side-track the fun.

Knowing with whom they will go tells us the tone of the event.  We know how the relationship works, and thus can foresee if they will be able to navigate an event successfully.

What are you doing tells us that you have a plan and will not jump on anything radical or hair brain  some drug induced stranger off the street might suggest you do, like rob a bank, or paint a car, saying, "Well, we don't have anything better to do..."

Statistics also show us that large numbers of teens die each year of car accidents.  Activities that include driving around, sometimes aimlessly with a car full of other teens are dangerous.  Speeding and drinking are often involved.  When I ask  who is driving, how long, do they have a license, it is because  many teens have lost the driving privilege, but drive anyway.

It is a loop of questions that each person should begin to internalize for their future.  The red flags should go up, when the questions cannot be properly answered in a situation.  They should be prepared in all situations:

Know their safe transportation.  Do NOT depend on rides from phantom "cousins and friends" that may or may not exist or appear at a meeting...and then have cars with doors that don't unlock. (One friend of mine was assaulted in a car that way.)

Know their safety at  a party or get together. Check exits, fire escapes, doors, windows, and make sure you are never locked in.  When people smoke, burn incense, a birthday,  there is always danger of fire!

Check for alcohol and drugs.  If either is present, leave.  You are underage, and the adult in charge can be arrested if minors are served.

That is why I have told you I would always pick you up, no questions asked.  I do not want you in a situation, uncomfortable, tricky, hurtful, anyway compromising, that you need to leave, that you cannot call I would pick you up.  I will always be there to get you out of a mess.
Trust me.  I will come get you.
My Mother was there for me, always and I will be there for you.

and here I sit.

waiting.

and they just won't listen.