Parallel Lives- part 2
Jan and I spent over 35,000 hours together, in college courses studying French, modern dance, after classes at lunch and then with the Cincinnati Civic Ballet, and in ballet classes. Wednesday evenings and Sundays we went to church together. It was as if we lived parallel lives, preparing to teach French in high school.
At graduation our plans were not the same, however. Jan wanted to take a break and first dance professionally. The opportunities in the states were limited, so she went to Europe. She wanted the chance to speak French, so she went to France and got a job in Cannes, working at a ballet school and training there. She taught English and continued writing me about her activities in France.
I decided to continue at the University of Cincinnati, working on a Master of Romance Languages, studying and teaching beginning French as an assistant teacher. I chose a master's thesis topic of the three unities of the theater. I was working on this thesis and teaching ballet at my Mother's ballet studios for the next several years, while receiving letters from Jan from France.
One batch of letters reached me told the great news that she was dancing in a touring company, and had "fallen for" some one in the company. I was concerned, since I recall being there for her, when she had been in a bad situation here at home, and one of our ballet teachers had taken advantage of her. Now she was so far away, and I worried I would not be able to give her the emotional support she needed if she again got into a jam. Letters followed, "Don't tell ANYONE...but I'm pregnant," she wrote.
The next letter started, "Now he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. He has another girlfriend. I don't know what to do!!! I wish we could talk. I wish you were here. I have no one to talk to. Don't tell my parents."
After a while another letter, "I continued dancing and I miscarried, which was really the best thing in this situation. It was horrible, but I only missed a few performances."
Another letter arrived soon thereafter, "I'm traveling to Montreal, Canada, with the company to perform at the world Expo! I will dance in ' Das land des Lacheln', a really great operetta. There will be several performances and my Mom and Dad are going up to see me."
I was so excited to hear about this I decided to plan a summer trip to visit Canada and Expo' 67.
My friend, Baiba, and I made plans to stay at a College in Montreal, got tickets to the operetta, and we were ready to go on a road trip.
The Operetta was great. Jan danced beautifully! The singing was wonderful, and the staging and costuming were well done. We did not spend much time together, since Jan wanted to spend time with her Mom and Dad.
Baiba and I super enjoyed our visit to Canada. The food was great, and the displays were so interesting. I brought home a few souvenirs, one of which I still cherish, a vinyl record of the operetta, "Das Land des Lachelns". We laughed about the place we stayed, a very clean school reminding us of a convent, with tiny single beds in plain rooms, no luxuries, no mirrors, no extras, but very affordable, right on public transportation.
That next year I continued working in Cincinnati, Jan continued dancing for about a year, came back to the states, and then she applied for work, getting hired at Princeton Middle School. She loved the chance at teaching and loved that level of student. She was excited to be back home, take over the house that her parents grew up in on Marlow Avenue, and continued dancing whenever she could.
I did not see Jan a lot, since I had the opportunity to accept a job in Tarkio, Missouri, at a small college, to teach French. I was so excited to have the chance to teach in a new state, to be on my own, but also anxious in this new responsibility to do my best.
Jan and I continued writing for the next two years, but it was in January, 1971, that the news came to me. I recall going out, into the clear black skies, filled with stars, rollings corn fields covered with snow. I had always looked up and known Jan was somewhere in the world looking up at the same moon, as I was. Now the news had shocked me, that her small plane had crashed, and she had not survived.
I did not return for the ceremony. I did not know what to do. There was nothing to do or to say. Sometimes you just have no words.
In the spring I was not rehired, and I returned to Cincinnati. Small colleges were loosing enrollment, and replacing language teachers with language labs. I applied to a lot of colleges and junior colleges in Upstate New York, but had no job.
I went to visit Dottie and Charlie to talk to them about Jan. I went hoping to be off comfort as another person of the past, to be the parallel sister, Jan had. They were always kind and gentle, I thought of them as the perfect couple and the ideal parents. I could not imagine how it felt to lose their only daughter. I was there, and I only wished to say the right thing. I visited off and on, and Dottie and Charlie made me feel it was always too soon to leave, "Do you HAVE to go yet?"
At one of these visits they came up with the idea, "We want you to take Jan's job at the Middle School. I know if we tell them to hire you, they will. Do you want the job? You always were friends, and I think you are the best person to replace her!"
Sure enough I got an interview, and was asked to teach French at the Middle School that fall. The school was huge and the students difficult to teach. When the offer came to move to the High School I did, and loved teaching at the older levels. I starting teaching at Princeton in 1971, married Jim in1973, and Annalisa was born two years later. I did not return to teaching after Annalisa was born, since I wanted to remain home to be with her while she was growing up.
Sometimes we followed similar paths and at times we went our own ways. If she were here now we would share our lives, grow old together, but it was not to be. Her life stopped short, and mine stepped in her path. I tried to visit often with her parents, and to include them when I married Jim, and had my little girl, Annalisa. I tried to include her in the circle of visits, but they only wanted me to visit.
When I adopted more children, and Tommy and Cassy joined the family, "Come visit without the children," they would say. It became more and more difficult to find that alone time. I was not that single girl anymore, and the family I had pulled me into a different direction. Annalisa still has fond recollections of visits with Granpa Charlie and Granma Dottie, but the other children do not. Our families slowly went their separate ways.
Eventually parallel lines reach their vanishing point.
At graduation our plans were not the same, however. Jan wanted to take a break and first dance professionally. The opportunities in the states were limited, so she went to Europe. She wanted the chance to speak French, so she went to France and got a job in Cannes, working at a ballet school and training there. She taught English and continued writing me about her activities in France.
I decided to continue at the University of Cincinnati, working on a Master of Romance Languages, studying and teaching beginning French as an assistant teacher. I chose a master's thesis topic of the three unities of the theater. I was working on this thesis and teaching ballet at my Mother's ballet studios for the next several years, while receiving letters from Jan from France.
One batch of letters reached me told the great news that she was dancing in a touring company, and had "fallen for" some one in the company. I was concerned, since I recall being there for her, when she had been in a bad situation here at home, and one of our ballet teachers had taken advantage of her. Now she was so far away, and I worried I would not be able to give her the emotional support she needed if she again got into a jam. Letters followed, "Don't tell ANYONE...but I'm pregnant," she wrote.
The next letter started, "Now he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. He has another girlfriend. I don't know what to do!!! I wish we could talk. I wish you were here. I have no one to talk to. Don't tell my parents."
After a while another letter, "I continued dancing and I miscarried, which was really the best thing in this situation. It was horrible, but I only missed a few performances."
Another letter arrived soon thereafter, "I'm traveling to Montreal, Canada, with the company to perform at the world Expo! I will dance in ' Das land des Lacheln', a really great operetta. There will be several performances and my Mom and Dad are going up to see me."
I was so excited to hear about this I decided to plan a summer trip to visit Canada and Expo' 67.
My friend, Baiba, and I made plans to stay at a College in Montreal, got tickets to the operetta, and we were ready to go on a road trip.
The Operetta was great. Jan danced beautifully! The singing was wonderful, and the staging and costuming were well done. We did not spend much time together, since Jan wanted to spend time with her Mom and Dad.
Baiba and I super enjoyed our visit to Canada. The food was great, and the displays were so interesting. I brought home a few souvenirs, one of which I still cherish, a vinyl record of the operetta, "Das Land des Lachelns". We laughed about the place we stayed, a very clean school reminding us of a convent, with tiny single beds in plain rooms, no luxuries, no mirrors, no extras, but very affordable, right on public transportation.
That next year I continued working in Cincinnati, Jan continued dancing for about a year, came back to the states, and then she applied for work, getting hired at Princeton Middle School. She loved the chance at teaching and loved that level of student. She was excited to be back home, take over the house that her parents grew up in on Marlow Avenue, and continued dancing whenever she could.
I did not see Jan a lot, since I had the opportunity to accept a job in Tarkio, Missouri, at a small college, to teach French. I was so excited to have the chance to teach in a new state, to be on my own, but also anxious in this new responsibility to do my best.
Jan and I continued writing for the next two years, but it was in January, 1971, that the news came to me. I recall going out, into the clear black skies, filled with stars, rollings corn fields covered with snow. I had always looked up and known Jan was somewhere in the world looking up at the same moon, as I was. Now the news had shocked me, that her small plane had crashed, and she had not survived.
I did not return for the ceremony. I did not know what to do. There was nothing to do or to say. Sometimes you just have no words.
In the spring I was not rehired, and I returned to Cincinnati. Small colleges were loosing enrollment, and replacing language teachers with language labs. I applied to a lot of colleges and junior colleges in Upstate New York, but had no job.
I went to visit Dottie and Charlie to talk to them about Jan. I went hoping to be off comfort as another person of the past, to be the parallel sister, Jan had. They were always kind and gentle, I thought of them as the perfect couple and the ideal parents. I could not imagine how it felt to lose their only daughter. I was there, and I only wished to say the right thing. I visited off and on, and Dottie and Charlie made me feel it was always too soon to leave, "Do you HAVE to go yet?"
At one of these visits they came up with the idea, "We want you to take Jan's job at the Middle School. I know if we tell them to hire you, they will. Do you want the job? You always were friends, and I think you are the best person to replace her!"
Sure enough I got an interview, and was asked to teach French at the Middle School that fall. The school was huge and the students difficult to teach. When the offer came to move to the High School I did, and loved teaching at the older levels. I starting teaching at Princeton in 1971, married Jim in1973, and Annalisa was born two years later. I did not return to teaching after Annalisa was born, since I wanted to remain home to be with her while she was growing up.
Sometimes we followed similar paths and at times we went our own ways. If she were here now we would share our lives, grow old together, but it was not to be. Her life stopped short, and mine stepped in her path. I tried to visit often with her parents, and to include them when I married Jim, and had my little girl, Annalisa. I tried to include her in the circle of visits, but they only wanted me to visit.
When I adopted more children, and Tommy and Cassy joined the family, "Come visit without the children," they would say. It became more and more difficult to find that alone time. I was not that single girl anymore, and the family I had pulled me into a different direction. Annalisa still has fond recollections of visits with Granpa Charlie and Granma Dottie, but the other children do not. Our families slowly went their separate ways.
Eventually parallel lines reach their vanishing point.
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