Lower Expectations

Bird songs float out the window.  I am sending recorded melodies out while I watch the bird feeders for FeederWatch day.  It seems the birds are attracted by the songs, and fly by and sing along.  I am amazed at the songs that I had assumed were other birds.  When you hear a bird in the bush, and it pops out, well, you say, "Guess that was a thrush singing!"  I just found out one of the songs I thought was a thrush was a wren, so I have attributed one of the songs to another bird.  You know birds have various calls and songs, and sing back and forth, learning different songs, singing regional variations depending on where they live- sort of like we have accents depending on if we come from the south or from Boston.

I listened to the entire CD, and enjoyed the Mocking bird songs.  Of course, copying all the birds, and then tricking us to believe he is all of those birds is quite a feat.  At least that is one bird I can identify (or is it?).

Weslee banged on the bathroom door this morning:  his "sound", pound pound pound.
"What are you doing in there????"  More pounding.

"I can't get out.  The door is locked."

I try the doorknob.  No problem, it opens easily.  Out pops a glowing brown faced young man.
"OHHH, I see, you just lotioned.  You have slipery hands."

"YEP."   He bounces out.  I have had to continually lower my expectations with children.  I always expected my children to learn a foreign language in the house; afterall I was raised speaking one language with my family, another at school.  It worked just fine.  Not so easy, when your child simply refuses, or when you adopt an older child who is adjusting to your family and feels isolated to begin with, and this is another way to make them paranoid.  Does not work then.

I just knew that a child of mine would graduate college: just no question otherwise.  When you have children with emotional issues, developmental problems, children that cannot read or understand counting, you lower expectations.  You look outside yourself, and become a child advocate.  It is no longer important to have your child fulfill YOUR expectations, but more importantly, you need to plan realistic goals for your child.

It is like trying to make someone "happy".  You and I know it's not happening.  BUT place enough opportunities in front of a child, and teach them to make sound choices.  Teach them what a positive choice feels like, and you can help them learn to become a "happy" person.  They can choose not to be happy, but you need to anticipate the child that enjoys pity parties.  That is okay, if that is the way they have learned to live.  Lower your expectations, because you cannot live life for another person.  You can just live for yourself, and if your life is anything like mine, that's not so easy either!


The award winning book by Donald Kroodsma, "The Singing Life of Birds",  comes with a CD, which is the one I was listening to this morning.