Attention
Why do I feel like Chester, my dog, pays more attention to what I'm saying, than my children do?
I recall learning in school, in Kindergarten, to sit, hands folded, head "pointed" with ears and eyes toward the teacher, at attention, so that the teacher was totally, "in focus". I also know that Mrs. King taught Annalisa and Liz the same skill in their class the first time they entered the room. That made me certain they would NOT be playing with a pencil, toy, folding origami cranes in their lap, but paying attention to the lesson, while the teacher spoke.
Weslee's teachers feel he is always playing with things in his desk, and not "paying attention". I have been trying to teach him the proper way to sit on the edge of the seat, back straight, hands on the desk, head pointed to the teacher "at attention". While I speak, he grabs an eraser from the table and plays with it.... point taken, he is not paying attention.
Chester will sit, "look at me", stare into my eyes, until we stop, and I release him,for a treat, or when I let him eat his meal. It is a ritual we do at mealtime. He is better trained than the children, who stare at the TV and don't come to supper when called.
I have been here before. How many children have "played with toys in their desk", oh, let me count the children, half of them at least. We have had medication for them. Teachers feel that it helps. I guess they attend more to the lessons. Weslee insists he needs no medications. He is borderline, what I mean is, he can still control his behaviors. He is not so impulsive and out of control that he is unable to function. He is just off the wall at some times, and this affects his grades. I would love to see him get better grades because he is so smart. Teachers see his potential, and want him to focus more on his work. They want him to work thoroughly. He continues to work, faster.
What we try to teach or impart to the ones we love is often left to those on the fringe of our lives. The people that read this blog will know and understand what I really want my son to know, and he may someday learn what he needs to learn from a stranger, or teacher that is in no way related: Not his MOTHER. It is the way of the world. I do not know why that is, it just is...Our children learn painful lessons from the world. We have tried to gently teach them to avoid those pitfalls. It is the way of the world.
And our adopted children believe that their birth-mothers would have taught them other lessons, given them other help, launched them otherwise into the world? It might have been different, but just as with their adoptive mothers, could they have taken the help and listened? I believe they would have had to learn the lessons from the world. I don't know why. It is the way of the world. It just is.
I recall learning in school, in Kindergarten, to sit, hands folded, head "pointed" with ears and eyes toward the teacher, at attention, so that the teacher was totally, "in focus". I also know that Mrs. King taught Annalisa and Liz the same skill in their class the first time they entered the room. That made me certain they would NOT be playing with a pencil, toy, folding origami cranes in their lap, but paying attention to the lesson, while the teacher spoke.
Weslee's teachers feel he is always playing with things in his desk, and not "paying attention". I have been trying to teach him the proper way to sit on the edge of the seat, back straight, hands on the desk, head pointed to the teacher "at attention". While I speak, he grabs an eraser from the table and plays with it.... point taken, he is not paying attention.
Chester will sit, "look at me", stare into my eyes, until we stop, and I release him,for a treat, or when I let him eat his meal. It is a ritual we do at mealtime. He is better trained than the children, who stare at the TV and don't come to supper when called.
I have been here before. How many children have "played with toys in their desk", oh, let me count the children, half of them at least. We have had medication for them. Teachers feel that it helps. I guess they attend more to the lessons. Weslee insists he needs no medications. He is borderline, what I mean is, he can still control his behaviors. He is not so impulsive and out of control that he is unable to function. He is just off the wall at some times, and this affects his grades. I would love to see him get better grades because he is so smart. Teachers see his potential, and want him to focus more on his work. They want him to work thoroughly. He continues to work, faster.
What we try to teach or impart to the ones we love is often left to those on the fringe of our lives. The people that read this blog will know and understand what I really want my son to know, and he may someday learn what he needs to learn from a stranger, or teacher that is in no way related: Not his MOTHER. It is the way of the world. I do not know why that is, it just is...Our children learn painful lessons from the world. We have tried to gently teach them to avoid those pitfalls. It is the way of the world.
And our adopted children believe that their birth-mothers would have taught them other lessons, given them other help, launched them otherwise into the world? It might have been different, but just as with their adoptive mothers, could they have taken the help and listened? I believe they would have had to learn the lessons from the world. I don't know why. It is the way of the world. It just is.
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