Special Money
You have to know what is special to each child, their "special" money to make them respond when needed. One child responds to a story at bedtime, another wants to sing. If you offer money to reward a child for doing a job that wants a meal at Red Lobster, you may have to find another worker, or use coercion. I think a lot of relationships improve with learning what a person's special money is. The same is true for Christmas presents.
It is amazing to me how many people still buy what they would like to receive. I can match up the giver with the gift. Mom's have been there. They take their children to buy presents, and all those children want to buy is toys for themselves. It is so difficult getting their thinking on track of what another person would want, sometimes impossible.
Just so there is a "chink in the armour" of us all, what reaches our hearts to make us smile, the core of our being and joy. To find that path is not easy; we need investigation and questioning.
We don't always remember what is important to our friends and family. We often just live our own lives, moving along as if in a fog, ignoring what is important to others.
Details are what make life meaningful and fun, the joy in the darkness, what brings hope to those sick or feeling loss. One person reaching your core makes a difference. Joy and hope revive.
I look around and see a grown child that needs other people to admire and show gratitude.
Another grown child needs to be the boss, to be in control.
Here is one that wants acceptance, no questions asked.
Another one that asks questions, but wants no answers, just a shoulder to lean on.
Each one so different, needs at different levels, interacting so differently, and I aware and as supportive of them all as I can.
And what about the chink in my armor? How vulnerable are we as parents? Can we allow our children to reach the truth of our being, or do we feel that would give them the power to undermine our authority as their mentors and guides in this hard world? I guess that my children know just exactly who I am, and how I think. I am entirely too outspoken to hold anything under wraps for long. I just hope they know the true way to building a relationship, learning what each person's "special" money means to them.
It is amazing to me how many people still buy what they would like to receive. I can match up the giver with the gift. Mom's have been there. They take their children to buy presents, and all those children want to buy is toys for themselves. It is so difficult getting their thinking on track of what another person would want, sometimes impossible.
Just so there is a "chink in the armour" of us all, what reaches our hearts to make us smile, the core of our being and joy. To find that path is not easy; we need investigation and questioning.
We don't always remember what is important to our friends and family. We often just live our own lives, moving along as if in a fog, ignoring what is important to others.
Details are what make life meaningful and fun, the joy in the darkness, what brings hope to those sick or feeling loss. One person reaching your core makes a difference. Joy and hope revive.
I look around and see a grown child that needs other people to admire and show gratitude.
Another grown child needs to be the boss, to be in control.
Here is one that wants acceptance, no questions asked.
Another one that asks questions, but wants no answers, just a shoulder to lean on.
Each one so different, needs at different levels, interacting so differently, and I aware and as supportive of them all as I can.
And what about the chink in my armor? How vulnerable are we as parents? Can we allow our children to reach the truth of our being, or do we feel that would give them the power to undermine our authority as their mentors and guides in this hard world? I guess that my children know just exactly who I am, and how I think. I am entirely too outspoken to hold anything under wraps for long. I just hope they know the true way to building a relationship, learning what each person's "special" money means to them.
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