Bulls eye
"I can't believe I'm going to be the big 40 soon. My body is just falling apart."
"I know, it's hell growing old." I remember it like yesterday, and that was 28 years ago. It was horrid turning 40. I recall crying and feeling like my life was over. I was finally "OVER the hill". Thirty was not so bad, but FORTY, it was torture. I can't recall any other birthday being this painful...
""My friend was skateboarding, and then told me he went SKY-DIVING!!!! I won't dare to do any of it anymore. I have tingling in my fingers, my arms ache, I am headed to the Doctor's tomorrow, see if I can get help for this pain."
"I bet you have a pinched nerve in your back or neck from that automobile accident you had, and not carpel tunnel. Did you go to a chiropractor and see if they could adjust your neck and back?"
"I checked that out and they found nothing the day of the accident. Now I am miserable!"
Family Get-Togethers are great times to rekindle connections with relations that you do not usually see or meet during the year. We live far apart, yet have so much to talk about.
What strikes me as I look around is that a snapshot now would be similar to a snapshot of the past. Everyone is so much like their fathers and mothers. We are our parents. I look at Don and see his father. I look at a little son of Joey, and see him as a child. It is amazing.
A black and white photo is handed around. Yvonne and Jeanne took the cousins: Jack and Dan, Vickie and Donnie, Terri and Joey when they were little ones to "The Uncle Al Show". Now they are hitting the forties.
I see a little Janet in her daughter, and a little Katherine in her daughter. It is striking how each family group fits together. Those that "fit" and those that are not a "matching set". I understand why my children used to say, "I don't feel like I fit in." I see all the adopted children, and how they represent their own heritage, not this heritage, but a clearly defined heritage.
"At forty you change. You need to do things differently. Define yourself from the inside out. Strength and character come with being over forty, because you may no longer rely on lilting laughs, fast moves, and smooth skin."
"Your whole body changes. "
I know I am the replica of my Mother at this age, and also my Grandmother. I wonder how much the changes at age forty hit my Mother and my Grandmother, regardless of the modern times, the years past, did we all have the same changes? Did we all have those same worries at forty, and did I understand?
I feel sorry for the movie stars that rely on their youth and beauty for their roles and popularity. Dealing with the age of forty is difficult as it is, any additional crisis, be it sickness or divorce, hits us below the belt. These experiences prey on us and make us feel less than we are, but they also make us grow in strength and help us face the inevitable. We will lessen in power and strength; we will give up our roles to our children, and then to our children's children.
"I never thought I would shoot guns. I support my son and went to shoot with him. He loves everything about guns, and I support his interest."
"I never thought I would be a football mom, and here I am watching games with my son, hearing his play-by-play, thinking he might be the next Howard Cosell!"
I am a Mother. I am a guide and mentor to my children, be they adult or in school living under my roof. I am a Teacher, whether I am a stranger to my students, a Mother to them, teaching school work, cooking in the kitchen, folding clothes, teaching Ballet, doing a craft project, talking about drugs and your body, or on vacation in Florida. I am a Loving Person whether I am forty or 68, because that is what moves me to live and respond to others: Harmony in Life and the Universe. I am Honorable because I see Honor in others, and I see the World as an honorable place to live. I strive for Peace, because War is painful and we need to avoid the harm it does to families, countries, and individuals.
I think forty is just the realization that we are half way there. At thirty, we believed we could still live til 70, 80, maybe 90. When we have accepted WHERE we are in the present, the end goal seems less significant. How long it takes, is non- existent. Because, as everyone realizes, all too soon, time does not matter. When we are bored and not living a life worth living, it takes an eternity.
When we are living a fulfilled life, doing what is worthwhile to us, what we want to do, it moves all too quickly.
"Whatever you have to change doing, we need to adjust to what life throws at us. It is how we see ourselves, how we manage what makes life worthwhile. I will never be able to compete with the acrobatic squirrels, but I will watch them, and count the birds. I am a bird watcher. If I lose my sight, I use glasses until I can no longer see. Then I will need to learn their songs, and if I need to use hearing aids, I will do so until I lose my hearing. I will expand my knowledge in new and different ways. My job as a thinking person is to invent a changing way to circumvent my continuing decay. Others went before and showed us the way. We are not the first. We are not alone. Each one of us can find our own leader who can inspire. I think of Helen Keller. I think of Christopher Reeves. There are so many examples of inspiring people that we can find to study and teach us how to cope with what lies ahead."
It is often the children who lead the way. She is target shooting, I am watching football games, and we are expanding our horizons by letting their interests involve us. The true leader knows how to follow.
"I know, it's hell growing old." I remember it like yesterday, and that was 28 years ago. It was horrid turning 40. I recall crying and feeling like my life was over. I was finally "OVER the hill". Thirty was not so bad, but FORTY, it was torture. I can't recall any other birthday being this painful...
""My friend was skateboarding, and then told me he went SKY-DIVING!!!! I won't dare to do any of it anymore. I have tingling in my fingers, my arms ache, I am headed to the Doctor's tomorrow, see if I can get help for this pain."
"I bet you have a pinched nerve in your back or neck from that automobile accident you had, and not carpel tunnel. Did you go to a chiropractor and see if they could adjust your neck and back?"
"I checked that out and they found nothing the day of the accident. Now I am miserable!"
Family Get-Togethers are great times to rekindle connections with relations that you do not usually see or meet during the year. We live far apart, yet have so much to talk about.
What strikes me as I look around is that a snapshot now would be similar to a snapshot of the past. Everyone is so much like their fathers and mothers. We are our parents. I look at Don and see his father. I look at a little son of Joey, and see him as a child. It is amazing.
A black and white photo is handed around. Yvonne and Jeanne took the cousins: Jack and Dan, Vickie and Donnie, Terri and Joey when they were little ones to "The Uncle Al Show". Now they are hitting the forties.
I see a little Janet in her daughter, and a little Katherine in her daughter. It is striking how each family group fits together. Those that "fit" and those that are not a "matching set". I understand why my children used to say, "I don't feel like I fit in." I see all the adopted children, and how they represent their own heritage, not this heritage, but a clearly defined heritage.
"At forty you change. You need to do things differently. Define yourself from the inside out. Strength and character come with being over forty, because you may no longer rely on lilting laughs, fast moves, and smooth skin."
"Your whole body changes. "
I know I am the replica of my Mother at this age, and also my Grandmother. I wonder how much the changes at age forty hit my Mother and my Grandmother, regardless of the modern times, the years past, did we all have the same changes? Did we all have those same worries at forty, and did I understand?
I feel sorry for the movie stars that rely on their youth and beauty for their roles and popularity. Dealing with the age of forty is difficult as it is, any additional crisis, be it sickness or divorce, hits us below the belt. These experiences prey on us and make us feel less than we are, but they also make us grow in strength and help us face the inevitable. We will lessen in power and strength; we will give up our roles to our children, and then to our children's children.
"I never thought I would shoot guns. I support my son and went to shoot with him. He loves everything about guns, and I support his interest."
"I never thought I would be a football mom, and here I am watching games with my son, hearing his play-by-play, thinking he might be the next Howard Cosell!"
I am a Mother. I am a guide and mentor to my children, be they adult or in school living under my roof. I am a Teacher, whether I am a stranger to my students, a Mother to them, teaching school work, cooking in the kitchen, folding clothes, teaching Ballet, doing a craft project, talking about drugs and your body, or on vacation in Florida. I am a Loving Person whether I am forty or 68, because that is what moves me to live and respond to others: Harmony in Life and the Universe. I am Honorable because I see Honor in others, and I see the World as an honorable place to live. I strive for Peace, because War is painful and we need to avoid the harm it does to families, countries, and individuals.
I think forty is just the realization that we are half way there. At thirty, we believed we could still live til 70, 80, maybe 90. When we have accepted WHERE we are in the present, the end goal seems less significant. How long it takes, is non- existent. Because, as everyone realizes, all too soon, time does not matter. When we are bored and not living a life worth living, it takes an eternity.
When we are living a fulfilled life, doing what is worthwhile to us, what we want to do, it moves all too quickly.
"Whatever you have to change doing, we need to adjust to what life throws at us. It is how we see ourselves, how we manage what makes life worthwhile. I will never be able to compete with the acrobatic squirrels, but I will watch them, and count the birds. I am a bird watcher. If I lose my sight, I use glasses until I can no longer see. Then I will need to learn their songs, and if I need to use hearing aids, I will do so until I lose my hearing. I will expand my knowledge in new and different ways. My job as a thinking person is to invent a changing way to circumvent my continuing decay. Others went before and showed us the way. We are not the first. We are not alone. Each one of us can find our own leader who can inspire. I think of Helen Keller. I think of Christopher Reeves. There are so many examples of inspiring people that we can find to study and teach us how to cope with what lies ahead."
It is often the children who lead the way. She is target shooting, I am watching football games, and we are expanding our horizons by letting their interests involve us. The true leader knows how to follow.
 |
| Helen Keller |
Comments
Post a Comment