Returning Home
How many parents have an adult child move back in with them? I did not expect to have this happen to me, but when Thom wanted to move back from Virginia, I agreed to let him stay with me for a "short time"...till he got a job and a place of his own. I was worried, as any parent might be, that this is not good for the relationship.
In several ways I am very grateful Thom moved in with me. For one thing, he had been on his own for about ten years, and we had very little contact during those years. We would write very little, have a phone call, maybe once a month, sometimes less. Our relationship had remained Mother and teen aged son, and now he was thirty. It was time to start a new relationship.
From the first it was a strained meeting, not knowing each other for ten years, under difficult circumstances, but we resumed our good feelings where we had left off. Thom is very generous, kind, considerate, and conscientious. He was aware of the situation, and immediately tried to help around the house. He offered to do anything I needed, mowed and did yard work. He helped financially, and cooked. He cleaned and completely repainted one bathroom. He cleaned out and repaired the gutters. He helped with so many things I cannot even remember them all. It was so easy to have him as a house guest- I should not say he was a guest, but I think in a way he continued to behave as carefully and politely as IF he was a guest, because he continued to be such a delight to have around.
I never intended to have him stay for a long time, and I am happy he has found a place. He came the end of August, and he will be moving by the end of the October. His job is not what he wanted, in that his full potential is not being used, but his plan was just to get some earnings, and to find a "better" job after he is settled. Now he has a check coming in, and a place he can call his own, looking for a better job will be the next thing he can do.
I am really proud this worked out so well. I have heard of cases where parents were used when things did not turn out. I guess that was a possibility. Moving is never easy, but I am so glad to have
Thom back in the city. I hope his ideas and plans for the future succeed. I know this year the holidays will be particularly sweet with more of my adult children around.
In several ways I am very grateful Thom moved in with me. For one thing, he had been on his own for about ten years, and we had very little contact during those years. We would write very little, have a phone call, maybe once a month, sometimes less. Our relationship had remained Mother and teen aged son, and now he was thirty. It was time to start a new relationship.
From the first it was a strained meeting, not knowing each other for ten years, under difficult circumstances, but we resumed our good feelings where we had left off. Thom is very generous, kind, considerate, and conscientious. He was aware of the situation, and immediately tried to help around the house. He offered to do anything I needed, mowed and did yard work. He helped financially, and cooked. He cleaned and completely repainted one bathroom. He cleaned out and repaired the gutters. He helped with so many things I cannot even remember them all. It was so easy to have him as a house guest- I should not say he was a guest, but I think in a way he continued to behave as carefully and politely as IF he was a guest, because he continued to be such a delight to have around.
I never intended to have him stay for a long time, and I am happy he has found a place. He came the end of August, and he will be moving by the end of the October. His job is not what he wanted, in that his full potential is not being used, but his plan was just to get some earnings, and to find a "better" job after he is settled. Now he has a check coming in, and a place he can call his own, looking for a better job will be the next thing he can do.
I am really proud this worked out so well. I have heard of cases where parents were used when things did not turn out. I guess that was a possibility. Moving is never easy, but I am so glad to have
Thom back in the city. I hope his ideas and plans for the future succeed. I know this year the holidays will be particularly sweet with more of my adult children around.
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