Chapter 7-Thoughts
Working with older children you become aware of the history of your children's family roots, their parents' parents, the events that brought them into your home, and soon discover what happened before will happen again. The genetics are mixed with the medical events, and with the events of alcoholism or drug abuse, with the child neglect or the domestic violence. The family histories are repeated generationally, and adopted children are taken out of the cycle at a time when we pray it is not going to repeat.
The events that repeated were painful to me, but just as they had been "left by a mother", they had to "leave a mother". I was that mother. Each child repeated some past reality in their make up- Ken has his mother's unfeeling detachment from her children, Dale had his great-grandmother's Native American origins. Both returned to their birth mother, as had Rick. Now Dale has a job and a girl friend. He lives independently and I think he is doing well. Ken is in the army. I think he is doing well. Rick is married, with two little girls. I pray the therapy has cured him. His mother lives nearby to help with the girls. He is also in the army.
My life force has gone into my love, my boys. I would sit and hold them, and think as I held them, that I could bring all the love and power I had into their being just by willing it so. For Ken I could make him attach to me, or anyone else. In his future I wanted him to have a relationship that would be meaningful and close, a family or loved one, maybe marriage and children, love and loyalty for this young man. For Dale I held and willed understanding into him. Someone who would take the time to understand his ways, his great sense of humor, and really be patient with him. " Love in my heart is not just here", I would tell them. "The rubber bands of my love go with you wherever you go. It stretches everywhere, and surrounds you. It goes with you, and won't leave you. It has room for you and whomever you love. Take it with you everywhere."
Now I look into the future and want them to call or stop by to let me know if they are happy.
The events that repeated were painful to me, but just as they had been "left by a mother", they had to "leave a mother". I was that mother. Each child repeated some past reality in their make up- Ken has his mother's unfeeling detachment from her children, Dale had his great-grandmother's Native American origins. Both returned to their birth mother, as had Rick. Now Dale has a job and a girl friend. He lives independently and I think he is doing well. Ken is in the army. I think he is doing well. Rick is married, with two little girls. I pray the therapy has cured him. His mother lives nearby to help with the girls. He is also in the army.
My life force has gone into my love, my boys. I would sit and hold them, and think as I held them, that I could bring all the love and power I had into their being just by willing it so. For Ken I could make him attach to me, or anyone else. In his future I wanted him to have a relationship that would be meaningful and close, a family or loved one, maybe marriage and children, love and loyalty for this young man. For Dale I held and willed understanding into him. Someone who would take the time to understand his ways, his great sense of humor, and really be patient with him. " Love in my heart is not just here", I would tell them. "The rubber bands of my love go with you wherever you go. It stretches everywhere, and surrounds you. It goes with you, and won't leave you. It has room for you and whomever you love. Take it with you everywhere."
Now I look into the future and want them to call or stop by to let me know if they are happy.
Comments
Post a Comment