The Bitter Taste of Motherhood
Not that staying up nights after the newborns have made their entry into the world is a sweet dessert... but we realize this is part of survival and bonding of the infant.
In some ways the Post-Partum Depression can be the worst part of having a child, and needs professional help.
Terrible twos are not a picnic, but the community of peers and families are going through it too, and sympathize, laugh with us, and probably have a little one with worse temper tantrums at the store.
I think we begin to "get a taste" of the bitters when we are at the doctor, and hold the baby, or child, while they get those required vaccinations. We know they are what is needed, but then how would the child? When they do understand words, we say things like, "This will be for your own good," while they get pricked with a nasty needle. Still this is stamped with approval by society and the doctor, and even would be considered neglect if we would not take our children.
These are the first tests we endure to strengthen us for the teens and beyond. At that point we endure Second Guessing. Our teens are good at pointing out that the rest of their friends do not approve of whatever you are doing, "None of my friends have to wear shorts that long, or shirts buttoned up!" I wonder how many friends are as mature looking as she is...
I am sure we all try to be "reasonable" and that actually plays into the opposite hand. When allowing words to fly, we give power to the ideas that there are ways to move the boundaries, with words, if they just talk enough. I believe somewhere along the way the teen thought that a lesson in government where they heard the words "Freedom of Speech" gave them the right to say whatever came into their heads, like a verbal thought process. This gives the teens the idea they have power. And they do use it. A lot. A lot of talk. Flow of consciousness. However, when we use that power, they stop up the ears, and it floats over their heads. It is not heard at all. I digress.
Our children don't realize it is not easy for us to be Mothers knowing we must taste the bitter pill of saying, "NO" for your own good.
At times we just wish we were in your place. We would rather endure your pain for you, than watch you go through it yourself. That may be why we make some misguided mistakes in letting you get your own way.
If everything went fairly smoothly during adolescence, the ties are cut, and the child is launched. It is the one job a person has, when done correctly, you lose a child and a new adult relationship is formed.
It is similar to a marriage, in that there are unexplained elements, unknown to the outside observer. No one can really understand the respect, the communication, the lack thereof, or the interdependence between the parent and child except those involved.
Mothers are the one in the thankless job of making decisions that not everyone likes. They take the keys from the failing student. They send the expelled student to boot camp. They lock out a jobless child. They swallow the bitter taste from friends and family, who second guess what they did, and face their questions and anger about why things happened. I guess the answer is always, in the facts, "They did it to themselves", but looking in from the outside, it is the bitter taste of motherhood, that we bear the burden. Why didn't we do better? We should have done it all.
In some ways the Post-Partum Depression can be the worst part of having a child, and needs professional help.
Terrible twos are not a picnic, but the community of peers and families are going through it too, and sympathize, laugh with us, and probably have a little one with worse temper tantrums at the store.
I think we begin to "get a taste" of the bitters when we are at the doctor, and hold the baby, or child, while they get those required vaccinations. We know they are what is needed, but then how would the child? When they do understand words, we say things like, "This will be for your own good," while they get pricked with a nasty needle. Still this is stamped with approval by society and the doctor, and even would be considered neglect if we would not take our children.
These are the first tests we endure to strengthen us for the teens and beyond. At that point we endure Second Guessing. Our teens are good at pointing out that the rest of their friends do not approve of whatever you are doing, "None of my friends have to wear shorts that long, or shirts buttoned up!" I wonder how many friends are as mature looking as she is...
I am sure we all try to be "reasonable" and that actually plays into the opposite hand. When allowing words to fly, we give power to the ideas that there are ways to move the boundaries, with words, if they just talk enough. I believe somewhere along the way the teen thought that a lesson in government where they heard the words "Freedom of Speech" gave them the right to say whatever came into their heads, like a verbal thought process. This gives the teens the idea they have power. And they do use it. A lot. A lot of talk. Flow of consciousness. However, when we use that power, they stop up the ears, and it floats over their heads. It is not heard at all. I digress.
Our children don't realize it is not easy for us to be Mothers knowing we must taste the bitter pill of saying, "NO" for your own good.
At times we just wish we were in your place. We would rather endure your pain for you, than watch you go through it yourself. That may be why we make some misguided mistakes in letting you get your own way.
If everything went fairly smoothly during adolescence, the ties are cut, and the child is launched. It is the one job a person has, when done correctly, you lose a child and a new adult relationship is formed.
It is similar to a marriage, in that there are unexplained elements, unknown to the outside observer. No one can really understand the respect, the communication, the lack thereof, or the interdependence between the parent and child except those involved.
Mothers are the one in the thankless job of making decisions that not everyone likes. They take the keys from the failing student. They send the expelled student to boot camp. They lock out a jobless child. They swallow the bitter taste from friends and family, who second guess what they did, and face their questions and anger about why things happened. I guess the answer is always, in the facts, "They did it to themselves", but looking in from the outside, it is the bitter taste of motherhood, that we bear the burden. Why didn't we do better? We should have done it all.
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